Yahoo! / Dr. Gail Gross

Being too friendly and accommodating might contribute to depression

August 5, 2015

Excessively complacent

Apparently, people who indulge others chronic way, tend more to depression, as the site of the State University of Michigan , USA But why?The measure of self-love

This type of behavior would be related to what you think you’re worth. ”If you’re the type of person who is always too friendly, you may be descuidándote yourself and what you think you’re worth. Many times, when pleasuring others just because to please, at one point you decepcionándote yourself and these feelings of disappointment, anger and anxiety must go somewhere, so you end up staying in you , “he told Yahoo expert in family and child development author and educator, Dr. Gail Gross. ”This leads to a kind of sadness and depression that can make you lose physical energy and feel you do not have any power. Submissive behavior, which always ‘matches’ with others, and settles them when it is not true, you away from your own feelings. ”

Family model

Also, if you constantly tempted to indulge, you may be repeating a familiar pattern. ”All we let enter our emotional sphere, people who let us do what we do because of our family of origin. But any relationship that is not mutual, it is not committed, obligated and responsible in a reciprocal sense, is out of balance and is unhealthy , “said Gross, citing the words the Dalai Lama as saying:” It’s a bad Karma let other people get hurt. It’s bad for them and bad for you “, so it is important to recognize when your relationships exist only on your side, or when you are always in the position of serving others, concluded the specialist.

Tips to overcome

Follow these keys to Dr. Gross, who could help reverse this situation.:

1) Know, realize and recognize your true feelings through a journal, meditation or yoga. That is, take the time ‘inward’, rather than ‘out’.

2) Be genuine in your relationship with others. The Dalai Lama once said, in 2000: ‘Just surround yourself with people who will appreciate and validate’.The best way to be compassionate toward others, is to be compassionate with yourself first. Your first personal relationship should be with you. Only then you can truly connect with others.

3) Stay away from negative relationships. You can never change someone or make that person cares about you.

4) Find a spiritual community (friends that you can meditate, which you can use, or those who have mutual respect and support).

5) Do not minimize your feelings or discards. You have the right to mourn when you’re hurt, and laugh when you’re happy , not to tag yourself as a victim or victimizer.

6) Become adult: then you can guide your relationships as your true feelings, and not just reacting to the feelings of others.

If you feel the way you relate to others is becoming depressed, talk to a therapist or health specialist.

And you, how you feel sometimes that you please them?


Interview with expert in family and child development author and educator, Dr. Gail Gross.

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